I remember my first orgasm.
I was 13, in my bedroom. I’d been innocently exploring the intimate spaces of my body under the covers, feeling my warm moist turn-on with a blush of curiosity, for as long as I could remember. That night, something unexpected, inexplicable, and unlike anything I’d ever felt in my body occurred.
A gathering up of energy.
Free fall into warm, black, velvet.
My mom, an R.N., had an anatomy book in the office next to my room. I found it and poured over female anatomy, hoping for answers to what I had just experienced, to no avail. The book spoke in depth about female anatomy and its function in reproduction, but said nothing about arousal and pleasure.
It would be a much simpler story if I were to say, “at that point, I decided that I would write the book on pleasure, orgasm, etc.” But, of course, it’s not that simple. It took the better part of two decades for me to begin to admit to what I’m claiming here.
No one ever told me that sex was about pleasure.
Connection, yes. Making babies, got it. But pleasure? Fun? A way to express the many sides of myself, learn more about myself, a portal into altered states of consciousness? All of that was whitewashed away with fear, embarrassment, misunderstandings, and shame.
The journey from that first orgasm to where I stand now, a Certified Sexological Bodyworker and Somatic Sex Educator, was a winding and meandering one. Undergraduate studies in college lead to a degree, taught me to think for myself, and revealed that most of the questions I was interested in asking would not be answered – perhaps could not even be asked – in the ivy covered halls of academia.
Twenty-two years spent in gymnastics facilities, as both athlete and coach, taught me much about the body, its mechanics, its beauty and grace. I learned of sacrifice and devotion, pain and frustration, triumph and failure, friendship and betrayal. I learned what humans need to relax into and trust another to catch them as they hurl their bodies through the air, while refining a capacity to look deeply into complexity and find and name the simple movement that can change everything.
Deep dives into the relational practice of Circling, Zen Meditation, and Women’s Culture and Community, along with medicine journeys and soul work, slowly peeled back layers to reveal the truth that had perhaps existed all along: Sex is my work.
My practice is a meeting of and collaboration with all of these explorations, leading to deep embodiment, pleasure, and knowing. My work traverses a wide range: from practical, applicable, matter-of-fact sex education and problem-solving, to sensual, inexorable, earth-shattering magick, to clear self-Knowing – all through the body.
Boulder, Colorado is my home. I’m deeply and fiercely committed to creating a new way of being in this world, which is also an old way of being in this world. A way of being that honors our bodies, hearts, and minds, includes diversity, and orients to pleasure.