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Fall Into Love


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Fall Into Love


 

Remember when you first met your man?

Every touch set you on fire. Each glance lit you up. Every kiss unleashed a flock of butterflies in your stomach.

You were hot for each other and you started to build a house on cloud nine. His quirks were endearing, and the complications of living together and raising children were far in the future; an adventure you imagined you would gleefully and easefully undertake. You wouldn’t be like those other couples. You know, the ones that stopped having sex, and were basically roommates. No, you would have it all.

Fast forward to today. Your life is full to bursting. Every minute is accounted for. You have a to-do list a mile long, and it never seems to get shorter.

Wake up. Shower (if you’re lucky), make breakfast, make the kids lunches, get them to school. Work, pick up the kids, make dinner, do laundry, dishes, clean up. Help with homework. Put the kids to bed. Crash on the couch so exhausted and incoherent you’re practically drooling on yourself. All you have the energy for is a glass of wine and an episode of whatever’s hot on Netflix.

Where in all of that is there space for your relationship? Your pleasure? You?

It’s at the bottom of the list.

On the rare occasion that you and your man manage to carve out time for a date, you’re so distracted by everything in your day, you’re not really there. You’re going through the motions, disconnected from yourself and your partner.

If you keep going down this path, 6 more months, a year, 5 years, where will you be?

Full of disappointment, frustration, resentment, and maybe even fear and anger. You’ll feel more hollow and asleep than you do now. Deflated. Your partner will feel like a stranger, someone you used to know. You’ll be getting through your life instead of thriving; managing rather than enjoying.

Is this what you want? To be getting by?

FUCK NO!

You want to feel alive, excited about and proud of your relationship. You want to feel turned on and connected – to yourself, your partner, and life itself.

But, I’m waiting! You might say. Waiting for the kids to start school, for the project to finish, for my mother to get well, for the spark to come back, for the mood to strike. When all of that happens, when my to-do list is cleared off, and work settles down, and the kids are in school, then I’ll turn my attention to me, my pleasure, and my relationship with my partner.

You might as well wait for lightning to strike.

 

It’s time to stop waiting and take action.

To connect with your body and to learn how to explore with curiosity rather than expectation; to fully know and inhabit your body from the inside out; to unlearn the misguided and harmful stories we’ve inherited about relationships, sex, and what it means to be a woman-mother-partner in the world, and instead learn how to create the vibrant connection with yourself, with your partner, and with the world that you are longing for.

 

The way forward is simple, and clear, and we can guide you through it. We can teach you simple practices that you can employ to connect to the aliveness and pleasure that live in your body and are your birthright. We can teach you the mindset and awareness that will have you and your partner feeling connected and excited to be together. We will show you the depths of your sexual anatomy, what to do with it, and how to talk with your partner about what you want and need. We can help you bring pleasure and intimacy to the top of your list in small, doable ways that can change everything.

From your partnership to your mothering; from your work in the world to the way you experience your sex, pleasure, and your body. Nothing will be untouched. You have nothing to lose but your most vibrant, alive, awake, connected self.

The truth of the matter is, this is bigger than you. Not attending to your sexuality, your aliveness, and your life force (which are really all the same thing)  doesn’t just impact you, it impacts everyone and everything you interact with.

The world desperately needs you to wake up here, to embody your self fully, to live with intention and walk the edge. Will you answer the call?

 

 
 
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You have two payment options:
$1,200 (split into 3 monthly payments of $400).
Or, pay in full for $1,050.

Make sure to use the code EARLYBIRD when you sign up to take advantage of the Early Bird Pricing.

After September 1st, prices increase:
$1,350 (split into 3 monthly payments of $450)
Or, pay in full for $1,200


 
 
 

Click below to Pay in three monthly payments of $400*
OR
Pay in Full with a one-time payment of $1,050*

*make sure to use the code EARLYBIRD at checkout to get the Early Bird Pricing

Please, don't let the cost be an issue. If you feel called, pulled, and inspired, reach out and we'll make something work.
We want this group to be accessible.


Have questions? Want to talk with us and see if this group will be a good fit for you?

Hit the button below to schedule a free 30-min conversation with one of us. We'll answer your questions, help you with what you're experiencing in your relationship, sex life, and pleasure. It's amazing how much can happen in 30 min!

Who We are


Who We are


Alyson Lanier, MA, CGT

I have spent the last 15 years in private practice helping people heal relationships with themselves and loved ones. I hold the equivalent of a PhD in adult attachment work and Gestalt therapy, and was a licensed professional counselor by the state of Colorado. More recently, I have been trained as a somatic sex educator. To learn more about me and how I got into this work, read more...

 
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Alyssa Morin, CSB

I am a Certified Sexological Bodyworker and Somatic Sex Educator, a Circling facilitator and Zen practitioner. I've also done years-long deep dives into Women's communities and Soul work (in the lineage of the Animas Valley Institute and the School of Lost Borders). 

As I complete a 140-hour training in somatic trauma, I'm bringing awareness of trauma, attachment styles, nervous systems, and neurobiology into my work with sexuality.

Read more...

 
 

We'll Dive into


We'll Dive into


Connection to Yourself

  • Quick daily practices you can implement right away to start shifting your relationship to your body, sex, and pleasure. You can do them while you stand in line at the grocery store, while you’re waiting at a stoplight. This is highly practical :-)
  • Ways to turn your mind off so that you aren’t distracted by the litany of tasks that are always on your list

  • Tools for self-exploration – get to know yourself sexually, emotionally, and psychologically. Learn what turns you on and what turns you off so that you have choice in the matter.

  • Anatomy of Arousal, ways to touch, enliven, and play with yourself, and to invite your partner to play with you. There’s so much more than your clitoris and vagina. Get ready to explore uncharted terrain.
  • Learn how to feel your yes and your no, and communicate it with clarity.

  • Explore ways to cultivate your generative, erotic energy and harness it however you want.

 

Connection to your Partner

  • Communication – learn how – and when – to give and receive feedback so that you can both get what you want without shutting each other down.
     
  • An Invitation -- to your man and your relationship that cultivates connection and pleasure you thought wasn't possible.
  • Practices to try and games to play to foster emotional and physical connection.

  • Daily acts of Intimacy: ways to build the fire, stoke your connection, and get your passion moving.
     
  • Ways to cultivate polarity and passion with your partner.
  • Things to try to get you out of the emotional, physical, and sexual ruts in your relationship.

  • An engendered understanding of consent. It’s so much more than yes or no.

 

Community of Women

  • You can’t do this alone! Community is one of the most crucial elements you need to build a satisfying, vibrant life.
  • You'll receive support from both of us, and a group of women all going through and exploring the same or similar things.

  • Reflections and feedback so that you can clearly see yourself and your patterns, and then choose different ways of being, rather than being a victim to circumstance.

  • An experience of healthy women's culture: A safe place where you can tell the truth about yourself, let go of shame, brave the unknown, and discover the power that lives on the other side of it.

 

Above all, this will be a co-creative exploration and your questions, interests, desires, and curiosities will help shape our experience together. 

Logistics


Logistics


 

12Virtual Group Sessions (via Zoom)

1.5 hours each
Wednesdays, 9 am-10:30 am MDT/11 am - 12:30 pm EDT
Beginning September 20th (final session is December 13th).

Format:

We will teach you some things, and we will save plenty of time for questions, coaching, shares, reflection, and feedback, not necessarily in that order. This group will be small, experiential, and participatory. 

 

Recordings, Outlines, Homework

All on a course page with video recordings and downloadable audio recordings, guided practices, and downloadable homework and outlines –  available for a year (at the very least).

Group Size

Our group will be small in size! 9 women maximum. This means you'll receive plenty of one-on-one attention from us and from the other members of the group.

Secret Facebook Group

To stay in touch with one another between sessions and our time together comes to an end.

 
 
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Click below to Pay in three monthly payments of $400*
OR
Pay in Full with a one-time payment of $1,050*

*make sure to use the code EARLYBIRD at checkout to get the Early Bird Pricing

 
If this seems like a large investment, when you do the math, it's still less expensive than therapy or coaching! It's definitely the most cost effective way to work with either of us. You get both of our support and wisdom over an extended period of time, along with the wisdom that will naturally arise out of the group. If it's too big a load to bear and you feel called to join, please reach out.

 

After September 1st, prices increase:
$1,350 (split into 3 monthly payments of $450)
Or, pay in full for $1,200

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You'll Come Away With


You'll Come Away With


 

A complete understanding of your anatomy of arousal and how to contact it

 

Awareness of your turn ons and turn offs

 

Tools to cultivate erotic, generative energy in your body, and how to bring it into your partnership and your life.

 

Communication skills to build deeper emotional, physical, and sexual energy and connection with yourself and your partner.

 

Community to support your growth and evolution

 

The power to tap into your desires, name what you want, and create the sensual and sexual pleasure you crave.

 

Trust in yourself, your body, and any response that it has.

 

Flexibility and fluidity. You’ll learn how to roll with the punches, how to recognize and welcome your experience, even when you’re triggered, contracted, and shut down, and that of your partner’s, in service of connecting around what’s really happening, rather than living in a fantasy of what you’d like to have happen.

 

Answers. Any question you have about your sexuality, pleasure, connection, and relationship, we will help you find your answer to it.

 

A mindset of curiosity and exploration that you can take into the bedroom, the boardroom, and any relationship.

 

 
  • You identify as a woman and have female sexual anatomy*
     
  • You are in a long-term partnership, or are in the beginnings of a what is becoming a long-term partnership
     
  • You don’t like the direction your relationship is heading, and want to make changes now
     

  • Sex and intimacy are at the very bottom of your list and you want to move them up
     

  • You are stuck in a routine with your sex, pleasure, and intimacy with your partner and you want more
     

  • You feel disconnected from your partner, even when you are together, and you want to feel connected again
     

  • You notice you are distracted when you are with your partner, and can’t let go of your work/household tasks/the kids.

  • You've tried to talk about sex and intimacy with you partner before but it doesn't work and you're ready for help
     
  • You feel like there’s never enough time.
  • You are hungry – starving – for life. You want to feel alive, lit up, energized, and excited.
     

  • You are ready and willing to take a good, hard look at yourself, your life, and the choices you make.
     

  • You are ready to explore, try new things, show up, and share yourself.
     

  • You long to be in a culture of women who are devoted to their own pleasure, health, and healing of their sexuality.
     

  • You long for guidance and education around a topic – SEX! – that no one really teaches us about. Ever.

 

*This group is specifically and exclusively for woman identified females (of any orientation. Our writing here is geared toward women in heterosexual partnerships, AND, it is all applicable to other orientations as well). Women have a unique perspective of their bodies, pleasure, and the social constructs around it all – as do men and other genders. If you are a man, or identify somewhere else in the world of gender, let us know and we can point you to some other resources. There are magnificent people in the world working with men and with sexual and gender minorities, and we work with all genders and orientations in our private practices.

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It's Time to Start Something New


It's Time to Start Something New


 

It’s time to reclaim yourself. To follow your longing for more.

No more hanging out in the dark; alone. No more hiding from your partner. No more keeping to yourself in quiet desperation because either you don’t know what’s possible, or you find your pleasure so elusive it feels downright difficult to be with. It's time to move your sexual pleasure up to the top of your to-do list (instead of the bottom of it).  No more avoiding, delaying, and forgetting.

We're calling on you to gather with us in old-world sisterhood. To learn what's possible when we reveal ourselves, ask for help, support one another, and truly attend to our sex and intimacy needs.

We will give you maps and guidance to facilitate your own exploration into the wild, living territory of your indigenous pleasure, all in a supportive space for you to share your experiences, frustrations, excitement, shame, and pleasure. In our space, you can (finally) ask questions, follow your curiosity, and learn how to explore and experiment so you can uncover the deep pleasure that lives in you. We're here to see you and help you arrive into your truth. We're here to usher you into your Whole Self.

 

Fall Into Love will not feature quick tricks to fix your relationship, or ten steps to your sexual empowerment, but it will impact these parts of your life. The invitation we are offering is for so much more than that. Your wholeness and sexual sovereignty require more than pithy, cookie-cutter advice to grow and develop; they need individual guidance, community support, practice, exploration and experiments.

One of the most subversive ways to change the world as women is to grow into our sexual sovereignty. When a woman knows herself utterly, from the inside out, and in the deep recesses of her sexuality and pleasure, she rules her being.

When a woman knows her body, she cannot be swayed by bullshit, and her ability to know where she's a yes and where she's a no, and to trust the responses that arise in it don’t just impact her sex life. Everything is implicated. This sovereignty ripples out into her entire life.

 

 

Ready to Join us?


Ready to Join us?


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Click below to Pay in three monthly payments of $400*
OR
Pay in Full with a one-time payment of $1,050*

*make sure to use the code EARLYBIRD at checkout to get the Early Bird Pricing

 
If this seems like a large investment, when you do the math, it's still less expensive than therapy or coaching! It's definitely the most cost effective way to work with either of us. You get both of our support and wisdom over an extended period of time, along with the wisdom that will naturally arise out of the group. If it's too big a load to bear and you feel called to join, please reach out.

 

After September 1st, prices increase:
$1,350 (split into 3 monthly payments of $450)
Or, pay in full for $1,200

other people are saying...


other people are saying...


Alyssa has a magical knack for creating group spaces that are at once profound AND playful, reverent AND fun, deep AND delightfully naughty. No matter how taboo the territory, she makes it feel safe and trustworthy. That is: I trust her — and she helps me trust myself. She doesn’t just light the passageway — she walks it with you, modeling the courage and grace this work takes. She’s helped me get brave, get honest, and get intimate with myself (and others) in incredibly rewarding ways. I can’t wait to see what she does next.

– Angela


 
I’m scared sometimes with what Alyson brings, but her laser precision makes her a role model and one of the most trustable women I know.

– Kathy 47


I walked into Alyssa's Summer of Pleasure course with some uncertainty and hesitancy, unsure of what this process would actually look like and fearful of what it could bring up within me. Throughout this course, Alyssa has served as a fearless guide, listener and observer. She enlightens us (her students/clients) with information and data, and regales us with her own self-discovery and exploration. She in no means presents a front or pretense of being all knowing, but comes to the table with a playful curiosity, and a wide open mind to listen and inquire alongside us. You can tell that she is learning through the process and taking in her own and her clients' experiences to mold and improve and adapt in order to best support her clients. Alyssa has not only provided a safe and welcoming space for self-expression, but also one of community and connection. Through breathing practices, home-play, visuals, group shares, and feedback, Alyssa incorporates multiple avenues of paths to connecting to one's own body and acknowledging others. It is never forced, but always an invitation. Thank you, Alyssa, for shedding light on taboo, stigma, and fear, and approaching sexuality and pleasure with grace and curiosity.

– Laura, 27


I see Alyson as Freyja. She is gifted in helping with matters of love and relationship. She can be fierce in her devotion to growth, and she is a lover of heroes…She saw the hero in me and helped me claim it for myself.

– Sigg 36


Forever I’ve just felt like I was surviving each day. Now I feel like I am living. Thank you Alyson, I finally feel free.

– Holly 43

 

FAQs


FAQs


What if I can’t make the live Sessions, or have to miss one?

Missing a session here and there is not a problem; life happens! We understand that. AND, this is not a course, it is a group. Your participation is a big part of the group. If you won't be able to make any of the live sessions, or if you'll be missing more than 3 of them, talk with us before joining so we can determine if this will be a good fit.

 

Are the Sessions confidential?

Yes! In our first call, we will make agreements around privacy and confidentiality so that everyone feels safe and contained. 

 

How do I know if Fall Into Love is right for me?

If reading everything above is eliciting a response in your body – warmth, sweat, rush, tingle, buzz – tune in, and listen. You might get an answer. You could be feeling fear, excitement, a lean in, a repulsion. Any and all of those are possible signs that you are ready. If you aren’t sure, send us an email (alyssa@thiseroticlife.org or alyson@alysonlanier.com) and we can set up a time to talk. We’ll explore where you are at and what you are wanting to see if Fall Into Love is a good fit at this time in your life.

 

What are my payment options?

Take advantage of EarlyBird Pricing through September 1st: $1,050 if you pay in full, or 3 monthly payments of $400. After September 1st, regular pricing will take effect: $1,200 to pay in full, or 3 monthly payments of $450.

 

Is the payment secure?

Yes. All of our payments are processed through Stripe, a secure payment gateway. If you choose to pay monthly, your payments are scheduled through MoonClerk. Both Stripe and MoonClerk use encryption through the entire checkout process. 

When will my monthly payments occur?

They will occur exactly one month from the day that you signed up. For example, if you signed up on August 1st, your next payment would occur on September 1st, and then October 1st. If you signed up on August 16th, the next payments would be September 16th, and then October 16th.

 

What’s your refund policy?

We offer a 50% refund within 7 days of the start date of the group (September 6th). After that we do not offer refunds of any amount. (AND, life happens. If something is going on, please be in touch with us.)

 

I have questions. How do I ask them?

Email us at alyssa@thiseroticlife.org or alyson@alysonlanier.com and we’ll go from there.

 

 

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More About us


More About us


About Alyson Lanier

Yes, I'm a trained psychotherapist who has specialized in relationships and intimacy for over 20 years now, but that's not what I really want to say here (you can go to my web page for that).

When I was 22 years old, I was given a vision of my path. That path focused on:  

invoking, provoking, creating, and changing women’s culture.

What I saw, but didn’t understand at the time, is that our relationship to our bodies, our sexuality, and our pleasure is one of the easiest ways to really know ourselves. It is my fastest route to experiencing embodiment, safety, and engaging my power.

For 10 years I ran away from my vision because I was chicken. No one was going to give me permission to do this, and I was scared of the breadth of change I knew would abound from this work. I was scared of rocking the boat, of becoming an outspoken feminist, of becoming an activist. I was intimidated and shaken by others' versions of women's work that only contributed to the unhealthy culture. But underneath all those fears was my fear of betraying the covert agreements I had with the overculture to be a good girl/daughter/wife/mother/homemaker/fill-in-your-feminine-cultural-role here. On top of that, my first instinct was to tend to other’s pleasure and comfort. My own pleasure felt elusive, ever-changing, and confusing, so I avoided it, and I kept myself from being whole. 

 

Then, at 37, I got pregnant. When I found out I was going to have a girl, I cried with overwhelm and concern. How could I bring a girl into a world where women don’t know how to be whole? How can I parent this girl into a different relationship with herself if I, and almost everyone I know, is still burying our heads in shame and fear of our own bodies, pleasure, and sexual freedom? The news that I was bringing another generation of woman into this world had me look around again and see the consequences of shying away from my vision, the consequences of shame, secrecy, avoidance, playing nice, and not rocking the boat. I thought, "If this is my behavior, and the behavior of every man, and woman I know, who will be my daughter’s mentor, wise elder, and council when she needs it? How can I possibly hold the larger vision of her own becoming, of her true wholeness, when I am not really doing my own work?"

 

My ass got kicked into giving a shit. I realized that my happiness, my freedom, and my daughter's life depended on it.  I opened myself up to exploring, I found a dear friend who was doing this work and willing to mentor me, and I discovered that my body held a treasure-trove of pleasure.  Experiencing my erotic embodiment helped me in ways that permitted me to let go of old paradigms and evolve into myself. This changed everything for me. No longer was I waiting for permission to be me; I felt more free, more sovereign.  Each piece of this exploration helped put me back together to feel more whole, and I was finally coming into integrity with my own body, my wellness, and my vision for healthy women’s culture.

Fast forward seven years and I’m writing this to you, after working with countless men and women to help them arrive into their embodied wholeness.  I'm so happy to work with people who are ready to give themselves permission to have the life that they never knew was possible.

And here I am today, inviting you into yourself like never before; inviting you to give a shit about yourself as if the world depended on it, because it does.

 

About Alyssa Morin

No one ever told me that sex was about pleasure.  

Connection, yes.  Making babies, got it. But pleasure? Fun?  A way to express the many sides of myself, learn more about myself, a portal into altered states of consciousness?  All of that was whitewashed away in ignorance fear, embarrassment, misunderstandings, and shame.

I'm not blaming anyone in particular for this; it is systemic, the water we swim in.

The journey to where I stand now, a Certified Sexological Bodyworker and Somatic Sex Educator, was a winding and meandering one.  Undergraduate studies in college lead to a degree, taught me to think for myself, and revealed that most of the questions I was interested in asking would not be answered – perhaps could not even be asked –  in the ivy covered halls of academia.

Twenty-two years spent in gymnastics facilities, as both athlete and coach, taught me much about the body, its mechanics, its beauty and grace.  I learned of sacrifice and devotion, pain and frustration, triumph and failure,  friendship and betrayal.  I learned what humans need to relax into and trust another to catch them as they hurl their bodies through the air, while refining a capacity to look deeply into complexity and find and name the simple adjustment that can change everything.

Deep dives into the relational practice of Circling, Zen Meditation, and Women’s Culture and Community, along with medicine journeys and soul work, slowly peeled back layers to reveal the truth that had perhaps existed all along: Sex is my work.

As a kid and teenager, my sexual education consisted of, “wait until you’re married,” followed up with alarming information about STIs and the basics of reproduction. Nothing about pleasure or the complexities of intimate relationships. I felt profoundly alone when it came to sex and relationships, and totally mystified. I’d explored my own body enough to know what felt good, and I’d had a few lovers that had opened doors to new sexual pleasure for me, but I had a feeling more was possible if only I knew where to look – or touch
 
Three years ago, a dear friend and mentor of mine began putting together a group of women – The Women’s Temple –  to explore erotic arts together. We gathered monthly to not only talk about our sexuality, but to work hands on with one another, to witness one another, and to be in our pleasure together. The combination of information, community, and guidance transformed my sexuality, and my entire life.

I came out of that two-year experience deeply rooted in my body, connected to my pleasure, sensuality, and sexuality, able to communicate about sex with partners in new ways, and with some key resources and practices that continue to expand my sexuality to this day. I also came away with a deep capacity to meet the intensity of my life head on, to tend to my needs and desires, to metabolize grief, anger, and suffering, and with an unshakable trust in the world and my place in it.

Sex is my work, but it's about way more than that. It's about sex and pleasure as a doorway into knowing ourselves and the world. It's about bringing our sex out into the light and sharing it in safe and thoughtful ways in service of understanding, expanding, and healing all sides of it. 

More than sex, my work is about seeing and being seen. It's about going into the dark, hidden, secret places in people's hearts, minds, and bodies, and bringing love, compassion, and care. I create space for people to welcome and experience all of themselves. To move into the grief and the pleasure, the heartbreak and the joy without hesitation.